The By Recommendation Only guides and website were created to make wedding planning easier. "I envy your kids, having a mother with so much experience," was an often heard comment from friends over the years. However, my son, Nik, and his fiancée, Kristy, had their own wedding vision.

Preparation
Whenever we asked about their wedding plans, their consistent response was, "Everything is under control." ("We" were Kristy's parents, Ming and Amy Wang, and Nik's, Olaf and I.) With a twinkle in our eyes we would repeat this response to each other and to inquiries by friends and relatives. They could hardly believe that, even as the wedding day drew closer, we weren't up to our ears in preparations.

A year before the wedding Nik and Kristy reserved Hakone Gardens close to Palo Alto, home to both sets of parents. They felt it was the ultimate place for their outdoor wedding: the backdrop of the Japanese garden, catering to Kristy's heritage, blended with Nik's vision, a beer garden atmosphere from his German tradition.

he Wangs were asked to choose between two organic caterers and, after sampling their food, booked Rising SunCatering. A family friend (a professional photographer) agreed to take the wedding pictures. Nik had met some talented people on his job as Gunn High School's Activity Director and invited them to take part in the ceremony or help out with the wedding. A former student was hired to videotape the event while another was asked to sing during the ceremony. His former secretary agreed to make flowers for the dessert tables, and the Gunn High School choir and DJ provided the music.

With these major items taken care of, the wedding preparations were put on ice. Our stay in Boston over Thanksgiving and the couple's visit to Palo Alto at Christmas passed without a word about their plans, until our last dinner with them before they returned to Massachusetts. Nik asked both sets of parents to research and select wines for the wedding. The quest for organic wines led us to our favorite stores where we chose a number of red and white California wines. We met with friends for a potluck and wine-tasting. The food resembled the preliminary wedding menu and we had a blast tasting the wines.

A few years ago, Kristy fell in love with a delicious grape juice from Navarro Vineyards. So, a month before the wedding, the Kaestners, the Wangs, and their two dogs combined picking up the grape juice with an enjoyable weekend in Mendocino County.

As their wedding planning advanced we began to receive progress reports. The announcement of the red silk wedding dress purchase was followed by a letter with color swatches for the bridesmaids dresses and ties. Next came an email informing us that the groom's suit had been purchased, with a link to the store's Web site of course. (Please read: Happy Mother's Day.)

As Kristy and Nik finalized the reception details with Amy and Ming, so they discussed with us the final details of the rehearsal dinner and the picnic planned for the day after the reception. (Please read Decorate Organically.)

The Celebration

The rehearsal is the prelude to most weddings. Due to a late afternoon wedding at Hakone, our rehearsal dinner was split into "rehearsal", held earlier, and "dinner" at 7 pm. To bridge the time between, Olaf and I hosted a traditional German "Kaffee und Kuchen" (coffee and cake). The Sterntaler bakery provided the delicious, authentic German cakes: a very light cheese cake, made with baker's cheese instead of cream cheese, and a large sheet of rhubarb streusel. (The bakery uses organic flour for their breads and cakes.) Having hired a server, Olaf and I were free to mingle with the guests.

All guests met at the J Z Cool Eatery & Catering Company in Menlo Park for the intimate rehearsal dinner. The tables were dressed up with white china, and starched linen and napkins to match. The wine glasses sparkled in the golden California evening sun which also reflected in my assorted glass vases and mason jars, filled by Melinda Reed with primarily organic field and meadow flowers. As the sun faded away, votive candles took its place. It was a wonderful evening, with good food and wine, heartfelt speeches, tears and laughter.

While the Kaestners and their house guests enjoyed a leisurely wedding morning, the Wang home was busy preparing table decorations and personal flowers. At 8 o'clock Ming and Amy picked up trays of wheat grass at the Palo Alto farmer's market. Back at home, the grass was cut and shaped to fit into wooden boxes acquired from Ikea. The skewers with radishes and mushrooms would be added later onsite. Heavy glass containers were filled with dirt to which were added three onions or garlic heads. The bridesmaids assembled the bouquets and boutonnières, consisting mostly of recycled flowers from the prior evening's table decorations and rosemary from Amy and Ming's garden.

Most of the wedding guests were seated by 5 o'clock for the ceremony next to the Koi pond. Once Hakone Gardens closed to the public, Bill, conductor of the Gunn choir, began playing the prelude of Nat King Cole's L-O-V-E Lyrics. The choir initially performed the song in German. With each new letter, a groomsman swayed to the tempo as he walked toward the front. The German refrain was our signal to accompany our son. The bridesmaids danced in to the English version, followed by Kristy and her parents. Alexa, a friend of the couple, officiated. Her heartwarming speech included the details we had provided to her about our children's early years. She began by inviting six couples, the four parents among them, to offer marriage advice. Our turns were interspersed with musical interludes, including Nik's former student, Morgan's, performance of a beautiful song that she had written for the occasion.

Following the exchange of the rings and the long kiss, the choir sang "When I'm 64" by the Beatles to end the ceremony. While the guests began to mingle and enjoy the red and white grape juice and the delicious appetizers, Kristy and Nik disappeared into the garden to be alone and reflect on their first moments as a married couple. Bridesmaids and groomsmen took their jobs very seriously by guarding the garden pathways.

The wedding programs held clues for the seating arrangements. Each had a picture of a mushroom, onion, garlic head, or radish as well as a table number (but no a seat assignment.) The square glass containers, with the onions or garlic, and the wooden boxes, with the skewered radishes or mushrooms, placed on the linden green table runners made by Amy, reflected the organic theme. The cleverly placed napkins added to the decoration.

Kristy and Nik's table was surrounded by the others. The couple was joined by their siblings and significant others. The family-style dinner of goat cheese tortelloni, duck, and fish was served on large platters that blended with the venue's somewhat rustic elegance. And our wine choices were well received.

Later, the dessert buffet was arranged on the deck of the Cultural Exchange Center where the DJ invited guests to dance. The evening concluded with dancing and small talk, as Nik had described in the invitation. What couldn't be captured in print was the warm and wonderful atmosphere that permeated the entire celebration.

Finale
Kristy and Nik had planned a picnic at Fort Miley to show off the beauty of San Francisco to out-of-town guests. The small park with the fort ruins has a marvelous view, overlooking the city's only beach. Lincoln Park, to the northwest, has many hiking trails with views of Marin and the Golden Gate. The few picnic tables were spacious enough for bowls and platters of delicious salads and sandwiches, again prepared by J Z Cool Eatz. As Nik and Kristy left for their honeymoon, we boarded the chartered bus for our return to Palo Alto. The three-day weekend was already over!

Epilogue
Yes, this wonderful celebration is over, but it will be the beginning of a new, exciting path for Kristy and Nik. And as for the parents, we never felt like we lost a son or a daughter. Just the opposite is true, we share our children as we became an instant family.